


You’re one of the few things that I’m sure of (and I want you to unravel me)

by Some_Dead_Guy



Series: Grindeldore Oneshots [4]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, The summer of 1899, Young Albus Dumbledore, Young Gellert Grindelwald, at least what I’d consider child abuse, probably never, when will I ever stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-12 04:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20982026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_Dead_Guy/pseuds/Some_Dead_Guy
Summary: Albus knows Gellert uses a glamour, and wants him to stop.





	You’re one of the few things that I’m sure of (and I want you to unravel me)

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever not have pretentious titles that include parentheses and what is probably song lyrics? No, the answer is no.
> 
> Not beta-read, as usual, so please excuse any mistakes.

Gellert is beautiful.

Albus could very well consider it a fact at this point. Everything about him was attractive, his golden hair, his high cheekbones, his dark blue eyes, his tall and slim form. And while he was endlessly physically pleasing, he was also  _ brilliant.  _ Albus loved Gellert’s mind, his wits, his mischief and how astoundingly clever he was. Gellert was funny and smart and protective, and loving him was a constant adventure. 

And Albus knows Gellert is beautiful, knows it like he knows his own magic, his own affinity for sweets, yet he feels like he doesn’t truly know what he looks like. Albus had noticed it when they first met, the glamour that he had constantly kept up. Albus did not mention it, too polite to bring up something like that when they hadn’t even known each other.

But it’s been three weeks now and Gellert still hasn’t lifted it. Albus is a bit more than just mildly frustrated. They’ve made love multiple times since their first meeting, have had countless conversations, can hardly keep their minds and hands off of each other. And yet Gellert still hasn’t entrusted his true appearance with Albus.

It’s makes him nervous, makes him feel somehow untrusted. Albus knows that Gellert has his many secrets, things he has not told Albus and will likely never tell him, but still Albus  _ wants _ . He wants to know as much as possible, and whatever he may be spelling away from Albus’s sight is one of them.

Albus thinks of this while they’re sitting in Gellert’s room one summer evening. They’ve been reading silently for the past hour or so, taking their own notes. Albus has been distracted for half of that hour, only vaguely looking in the direction of his book while he’s lost in thought.

He wants to bring it up, wants to ask why and how. As far as Albus’s noticed, Gellert hasn’t lifted his glamour once since they’ve met each other. Albus wonders how much of a drain that must be on his magic, and can’t help feeling worried. 

He also tries to imagine why Gellert would feel the need to use a glamour, especially around Albus. He suddenly thinks of people making someone like Gellert feel  _ ashamed,  _ feel a need to hide something of himself, and perhaps he feels a bit more rage at the thought than he should.

“Is there a reason you’re staring at me, dear?” Gellert says, and Albus snaps out of his reverie.

Gellert is smiling at him and Albus flushes a bit in embarrassment. “No it’s just,” Albus starts and then pauses. He should tell him, ask him at this moment, especially knowing it’s unlikely Gellert will believe him if he is to lie. He also knows that he will be unable to focus the rest of the evening if he does not voice his concerns.

“Why do you use a glamour?” He says bluntly, watching as Gellert flinches. He feels just the smallest bit bad for not trying to be more sympathetic, but also knows that Gellert would likely not appreciate the sentiment.

Gellert carefully schools his expression immediately, “You noticed?” He asks mildly, and as hard as he tries to act like he’s not, Albus can tell he’s bothered. It’s in the pinch of his brow, the frown he’s trying to smooth out, and the storm that’s brewing in his eyes. 

Albus realizes he’s likely treading through dangerous territory.

Albus closes his book and places it down, moves closer towards Gellert on the bed. “Yes, but I didn’t want to be rude by mentioning it.” He admits almost sheepishly. 

When Gellert is silent, Albus continues. “You know, you don’t have to keep it up when I’m around.” He says truthfully, unable to imagine himself being bothered by any way Gellert may come to look like. Albus feels relieved when Gellert begins to look less angry.

Gellert swallows, eyes flitting around almost nervously,  _ self-consciously.  _ “I,” He sighs, “I’ve been told I look– unsettling, without my glamour.” He whispers, hands clenching and unclenching in his lap.

Albus carefully places his hands over Gellert’s, rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles soothingly. “Gellert, there’s nothing about you that could unsettle me.”

Gellert looks at him in disbelief, “Albus, you haven’t seen  _ it. _ ” Gellert almost spits the last word, as if the thought of whatever he’s covering completely disgusts him. 

“Then let me.” Albus counters, and he can feel Gellert’s hands curl up under his.

Gellert laughs humorlessly, and he gnashes his teeth, gritting out, “I don’t want you to think differently of me.”

Albus squeezes Gellert’s hands, “I will not, I promise. Gellert, I want to see you,  _ all  _ of you.” 

Gellert inhales deeply, and Albus holds Gellert’s gaze when he looks at him. Gellert looks akin to someone about to be hanged, silently defeated and aware of their soon to be demise. Albus is unsettled by how confident Gellert seems to be in the fact that Albus will reject him. Albus makes up his mind to horribly hex anyone who has contributed to making Gellert feel this way.

They sit in silence for a few moments, and Albus is about to try and reassure Gellert again or possibly even drop it when his breath catches. He sees Gellert’s deep blue eyes change, one morphing into such a dark color it’s almost black, the other a pale grey that is almost white. Light and dark, opposites. 

They’re  _ enchanting.  _

Albus can’t fathom the idea of seeing them as ugly or horrible. Albus doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything like them, has seen eyes that differ but never to this extent. But of course Gellert would have even more things to make him even that much more otherworldly. He’s boundless in his uniqueness, no one else in this world quite like him. 

“I was born with it.” Gellert murmurs, “My parents were so disgusted with them they would hardly even  _ look  _ at me. If they ever allowed me to leave the house, everyone would stare, then try their hardest to not look at me when I caught them. The other kids in the village would shout names at me, called my eyes a  _ deformity. _ ” Gellert seems like he wants to seethe, to punctuate every syllable with unbridled anger, but his words are only spoken with a mute sort of sadness. 

Albus’s chest tightens considerably, and he frowns. Looking at Gellert now and imaging someone screaming at him, calling him terrible things, taking this prideful, wonderful boy and making him feel as if he can't even look like himself. It makes him feel a complicated mix of rage and sadness that’s almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Before he can scrounge up something to say, Gellert is continuing, “I was ashamed, and I was,” He hesitates, pressing his lips into a thin line, “scared. I was scared of starting school looking how I did, so I taught myself how to hide them. I practiced for hours, staring at myself in the mirror, reading as many books I could find to help.” 

Gellert isn’t looking at him, hasn’t since he’s revealed his mismatched eyes, “I did it, I was finally able to hide them. I had thought that my parents would finally look at me, that  _ someone  _ could finally stand the sight of me.” Gellert’s face scrunches up then, and Albus barely holds back the urge to reach out and just  _ hold  _ him. “They didn’t, they still turned their heads, they  _ never  _ looked at me. They still knew the ugliness was there, knew I was simply  _ pretending  _ it wasn’t.”

“Gellert,” Albus finally breathes out, pulling his hands out of Gellert’s so he can hold the other boys face, “Gellert, there is nothing about you that is ugly.”

Gellert huffs, ready to argue, but Albus doesn’t allow him, “The way you were treated was horrible, and anyone who could possibly think of you as unbearable to look at is an  _ idiot.  _ Gellert you are a beautiful, brilliant,  _ gorgeous  _ man. You should have never felt the need to hide, to change yourself for someone.” 

Gellert’s eyes are glassy, “Do you mean it?” He says, voice quiet and awed, disbelieving in every word that’s left Albus’s mouth.

Albus smiles, rubbing his thumbs across Gellert’s cheekbones, “Of course. I don’t want you to hide, especially not in front of me.” Albus promises.

Gellert huffs out harshly, the breath punched out of him in his surprise. “You’re not bothered, truly?”

Albus laughs, “No, dear. They suit you rather, I think. They’re different, almost mysterious.” Albus says playfully, reveling in Gellert’s faint smile, “Beautiful eyes for a beautiful boy.”

Gellert’s smile grows despite his hesitance, “You are a blessing on this Earth.” 

“What else could I possibly be, dear.” 

Gellert chuckles as Albus leans in to kiss him, a chaste thing that’s hardly even a kiss when they keep on laughing and smiling. 

Albus eventually pulls away, and he sobers up, looking at Gellert seriously, “I also mean it when I say I don’t want you to feel the need to change yourself in front of me.”

Gellert purses his lips in thought, and Albus is briefly distracted by how pretty he is, before he forces himself to focus.

“I think I could do that.” Gellert says, nodding slightly in hesitant agreement. 

Albus breathes a sigh of relief, not well equipped to argue about this if it came down to it. “How long have you been glamouring them?” He asks curiously, but not unkindly.

Gellert chews on his lip for a moment before answering, “I believe I was 9 when I first did it. I’ve been doing it ever since.” He admits the last part with a flush of embarrassment lighting up his cheeks.

“Well, you don’t have to do that anymore, not with me, I promise.” Albus says softly, smiling when Gellert looks at him like he’s some angel sent down specifically for him. 

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“Probably far too little.” Albus laughs and Gellert allows himself to do so too.

“Were you mad?” Gellert asks, tilting his head forward in interest.

“A little.” Albus admits, “But not really, I think. I was mostly mad you felt a reason to hide, and I felt like you didn’t completely trust me. You know just about every little detail of my life, and you’re still such a mystery to me. I want you to tell me things, but you never do.” 

This is the first time Albus has said these things out loud, and he’s suddenly aware of just how true the words are. He knows so little of Gellert, and he feels both excitement at the prospect of finding out more and apprehension at the things he could possibly uncover. He knows Gellert so little yet he makes him feel so  _ much. _

Gellert seems properly surprised for a moment, before he composes himself. “Albus, dear, I trust you. I trust you more than I’ve allowed myself to trust anyone else. I just didn’t know how you’d respond, and I hate not knowing.” 

“While I can agree,” Albus says, “you never truly know how someone will act, do you?”

“Well, I didn’t know how you would act even  _ less  _ than usual.” Gellert says impatiently.

Albus is about to respond when he hesitates. “You weren’t even going to tell me if I didn’t say something first, were you?” Albus realizes, unable not to feel the slightest bit upset.

Gellert opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. “I would have told you… eventually.” He says quietly.

“Gellert!” Albus raises his voice, probably a bit too loud, but he’s too frustrated to care at the moment.

“Albus!” Gellert says back, matching Albus’s tone with his own hint of annoyance.

“I can’t believe you seriously weren’t going to tell me!” Albus says, and he wants to sound some form of angry, but he’s giggling because it’s all rather  _ ridiculous.  _ His brief anger and frustration bleed away. He thinks for one moment he’s far too amenable towards Gellert, but does not dwell on it for more than one  _ dangerous _ second.

“Well, you figured it out so I didn’t even have to.” Gellert pouts, crossing his arms childishly.

Albus continues to laugh, and eventually Gellert can’t keep up his ‘ _ I’m sulking and it’s all your fault _ ’ facade and the sound of his laughter joins Albus’s.

They slowly calm down, and Albus’s cheeks ache and his ribs hurt, and he feels so  _ alive _ and Gellert is there and everything seems right. Albus leans in and kisses Gellert in his excitement, smiling through each touch of lips and skin.

“I’m so in love with you.” Albus says hopelessly, reverently, adoringly.

“And I you.” Gellert says back, sweetly, quietly, lovingly.

Albus leans in again, kisses him across his cheekbone, on his brow, and then delicately over his eyelid. “Please tell me things next time.” Albus says, and it’s too close to a desperate plea for Albus’s liking, but he can’t fix it now.

Gellert’s arms wrap securely around Albus’s waist. “I’ll try.” He whispers, and it’s no guarantee but Albus didn’t honestly expect anything more. There’s so many things Albus Dumbledore will never know about Gellert Grindelwald, and he’s too ready to accept that because he’s too caught up in him just being  _ here,  _ with him, in his arms, in his bed, in his home.

They end up tangled in each other, sated and tired. The sun has long since set, and Albus is lying comfortably against Gellert’s chest. Albus looks up, catches sight of Gellert’s unique eyes and smiles. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He tells him, watching as his heterochromatic eyes widen.

“I truly hope you never leave.” Gellert says, obvious in his awe.

“I don’t plan to.” 

And they fall asleep soon after, content in the quiet promise even when Albus can feel a heavy question weighing in the back of his mind.

_ But do you promise to never leave me? _

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
